Philosophy of Therapy

Jussi Light, M.A.   Licensed Marriage &Family Therapist

MFC#39617

I believe there are two primary issues involved in bringing about healthy, lasting change.  These are first, personal responsibility and secondly, relationships.

 

I fundamentally believe in personal responsibility as the core component involved in change.  Everybody has the God-given ability to freely choose and think.  When negative thoughts and ideas develop, they can lead to negative emotions and moods that can predominate.  Having negative moods leads to negative experiences and relationships, which, in turn, leads to symptoms of depression, fear, conflict, and pain. Whenever a person comes to believe that they no longer have the ability to freely choose or think, or that they do not trust their ability to chose and think, they experience serious problems.  By examining their underlying negative thoughts and beliefs, people can take responsibility for them and change them in order to have different experiences and relationships.  This can be accomplished in-part during the therapy session—however, an important part of the process of change occurs when people do the weekly homework that I assign.  Each person who assumes responsibility for themselves—including doing the homework—reaches their goals quickly with long-term results.  

 

Relationships are the second area involved in core change, because individuals are all so influenced and shaped by them.  They come in all forms, such as family, social, intimate, or spiritual relationships, and they are often difficult to manage.  An individual can have all kinds of difficulty in the presence of others – the ability to be oneself regardless of who else is present is often one of life’s greatest challenges.  The pressure to conform, the desire to escape from others, or the fear of relationships or conflict can lead to loneliness, resentment, depression, isolation, and alienation.  This in turn impacts one’s ability to function in life’s activities.  The need to successfully deal with relationships simply cannot be escaped.  Healing relationships and helping people navigate within them without losing their identity leads to greater peace and positive experiences in life.

 

In therapy, I attempt to acknowledge both of these aspects and encourage each person to deal with them when they are able to do so. Everyone is different and has different strengths, weaknesses, and time-frames for what they can handle.  I have found this to be true in myself, and so I seek to tailor my interventions to what a person seems willing to address.

 

What this actually “looks like” in sessions depends on who is in the room – with individuals, we are often dealing with memories or current events, but in either case, I seek to connect people to their power to make a different choice – whether this is a different thought or action usually doesn’t matter.

 

If more than one person is in the session, we are often focusing on communicating accurately and genuinely.  When that takes place, relationships can be negotiated successfully.  However, each person still has to choose a new way of being in the relationship – whether they are a parent, child, lover, or friend.  The issue becomes one of creating boundaries that “work” and that each person will respect.  This is a lot easier than it sounds!